Here's some great wisdom from Bob Mumford.

 It's been over a year since being in sort of isolation and I recently reflected on my walk of faith and knowledge of God and His gospel plan for humanity. Or what I thought about it all. A preacher once said you have to go back to the quarry from which your stone foundation of faith was cut so you can see how far the good Lord has taken you. 

My first recollection of stepping into a church I was so young I could barely talk. I think my family went to that church until we moved away from Culver City when I was 8. Lots of vague memories, but enough to know that I wasn't truly aware of God back then. That was when I was first made aware of alcohol with my dad hosting parties and having a bar in the living room.

When my family moved to West Covina in 1976, we had young neighbors who used to drive me to Costa Mesa on some weeknights to attend bible study in a large open space packed with young adults and teens. Lots of nice Jesus movement folks there. I was just a kid in the 4th grade who thought it was neat just to be out at night. It was a strange phase in my life where I was taught that burning certain rock albums was a good thing and demons were such a big deal that we had to confront them as if we knew where to find them. However, I recall closing my eyes and saying the sinners prayer after a weeknight bible study and it was there that I had a sense of God's presence in the room. I felt a warmth grow in my heart that loved Christ. However, it fizzled out after a short season.  

My Uncle Eli moved from the Philippines to pastor a church in the 1980s. At my Uncle's church, I learned to worship God and I still recall many beautiful moments with God and then going home to experiment with drugs and alcohol. A real Jekyll and Hyde lifestyle. I attended that church for several years until I left California to enlist in the Army. My whole time in the Army I prayed only when I needed help. And help always came in some shape or form. Shortly after being discharged from active duty, I stopped attending church and my fellowship with believers stopped. 

By the mid 1990s, I met a nice girl and we got married. At the time, I was a highly functioning drunk who couldn't finish college. I found out she had an affair by our 4th year together which made me feel like a complete failure and I tried to end my life with alcohol. Somehow God spared me and later that week, I went looking for God at an AA meeting. That was September 18, 2000. I got divorced a couple months after. A year passed when a friend from college introduced me to an R.C. Sproul book entitled Faith Alone. Then my Christian walk went down a hard road that introduced me to the idea that repentance wasn't just a one time thing you do saying a prayer. Repentance was a complete turning away from sinful living and that I was supposed to maintain that course until the end. And Calvinism taught me that I needn't worry about losing my salvation because I can't. However, if I continually sin after professing my faith in God then I was never truly converted to begin with. It led me to discover that if left to my own devices, I would selfishly manipulate everything and everyone in my life to my advantage. Including who I thought was God. At my core, I want to be the central focus of my life even if it means being an enemy of God. The Calvinist's interpretation of the Gospel was new to me and I clumsily summed it up as a choice to either surrender my life to Jesus or die in my sins separated from God's mercy forever in Hell. 

Surrender or die.  

It's been 20 years since God took me from being an inconsistent drunk to being aware that I am truly nothing without daily prayer, repentance, scripture, and an honest belief that I belong to Jesus.

So what quarry was my stone cut from? I don't really know nor do I really care now that I think about it. 

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here. 

Everyday for 20 years, I wake up thinking about one choice.

Surrender or die.  

And my answer is always the same. Surrender my selfishness to Jesus and go wherever He takes me.

I would tear the world for you

On September 6, I prayed for God's help in a personal matter.
 
     56 days later, on Nov. 2, 2016. I heard a voice telling me,

             
             "I would tear the world for you."


I can't explain why, but I started weeping...

So then, what does it mean? I don't know.
Is God going to tear the world for me? No.
It doesn't give me any clue as to direction or guidance.
I'm willing to guess that message was meant for Jesus back in Gethsemane and not for me.

Even though it wasn't what I expected to hear,                                  
          It was so reassuring for my soul to hear.

It tells my soul that it doesn't matter what happens in this life.

God is in control.
God is awesome.
And God loves me.

              Keep Seeking. Keep Asking. Keep Knocking.

I recently watched this video on the most important fear facing man today.
Sadly, man doesn't know the importance of this fear anymore and the freedom that stems from it.

Wisdom From The Book

Moses spoke...
Exodus 33:13 (NASB)
13 Now therefore, I pray You, if I have found favor in Your sight, let me know Your ways that I may know You, so that I may find favor in Your sight. Consider too, that this nation is Your people.”

Hagar spoke...
Genesis 16:13 (NIV)
13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Jeremiah spoke...
Jeremiah 10:23-24 (NIV)
23 Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own;
    it is not for them to direct their steps.
24 Discipline me, Lord, but only in due measure—
    not in your anger,
    or you will reduce me to nothing

Micah spoke...
Micah 6:8 (NIV)
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.

Peter spoke...
2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV)
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah spoke...
Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NIV)
23 This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
    or the strong boast of their strength
    or the rich boast of their riches,
24 but let the one who boasts boast about this:
    that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
    justice and righteousness on earth,
    for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.

Me...
I cannot love God if I do not know God and I cannot know God if I do not search... I hope the scriptures above provide you insight into the juxtaposition between God and man. God is love and I am not. However, I am grateful for this ride called life! And I am grateful to the One I owe everything to....

How Impatience Teaches Life Lessons

I was in my mid 20's when I opted out of a high paying job with a Forbes 500 corporation doing operations management and re-manufacturing. I swapped industrial safety goggles and warehouse attire suddenly for hospital scrubs. I made a career change so I could tell myself that I was doing something more worthwhile in life for the benefit of my fellow man. I also remember how completely full of shit I was and how I compensated for my lack of sound parenting by fitting into white collar jobs and prior to that selling my soul a few years in exchange for a Montgomery G.I. bill. 

I remember going to work Saturday mornings at a skilled nursing facility with a hangover that wouldn't go away. At night I learned to box at old boxing gyms - a theme that kept repeating for every wrong reason well into my mid 30's. Many times, I thought I could gain my soul back if only I learned the art of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu which I saw on late night cable commercials when I lived in Carson, California. I felt empty at that time.

I worked part-time shifts at a skilled nursing facility (SNF) when one day I met a young patient with cerebral palsy. He was around my age, but the wear and tear of the tremors that made his muscles tense and toned caused him to appear many years older. His name was Brian and he was an unassuming figure of a young bearded man hunched and torqued in his wheelchair - a product of years of spasms that froze certain parts of his body into certain unfamiliar and uncomfortable contortions. His speech was slowed and slurred and over the course of the next 9 months while assisting therapists with treating him I discovered that Brian was an educated and learned man with 2 bachelor's degrees and was working on a master's degree between his most recent hospital stays.

I remember feeling an ever-increasing sense of dissatisfaction with my day-to-day existence knowing that Brian was more capable and accomplished than I was at life. At the time I was a fully capable ex-athlete and I was facing a self-imposed career ending decision in order to satisfy my self-centered needs and low self-image. I chose what I thought was a seemingly selfless career, but I chose wrong.

There I was struggling to find the time to study in order to finish the prerequisite science and math courses necessary to gain entrance into a bachelor's program for physical therapy. It was the mid 1990's and the APTA was phasing out bachelor's programs for physical therapy the result of which I'm positive had turned away lot of otherwise competent future therapists due to the nearly incomprehensible cost of attending graduate and post-graduate academic programs. I got depressed over the next 3 years of focused study and underpaid work that eventually led me to a dead end career-wise. It would empty my soul every time I put on my scrubs knowing I would never be a licensed PT and my attitude affected everything I did. My circumstances and a tiny string of personal failures weakened my resolve and all I wanted to do was give up. A few years later my drinking would eventually lead me to hit rock bottom and I ended up losing everything.

It’s been over a decade since I lost it all. And I have to say that through separation and struggle and loss and suffering... I am grateful for what my life has become since. I thank Brian for his courage. His example didn't stop me from ruining my life, but remembering that Brian was a humble man with great courage helped me find the courage to ask for help when I tried to put the pieces of my life back together - and thankfully every piece that was lost was later replaced and my life fit back together in the all the right places.

What did I learn about those years of suffering in my life?

Humble men can perform incomprehensible acts of courage that would make otherwise greater men crumble to pieces. 

So stay humble...
Only always...
Thanks Brian...

P.S. For me not to add my heartfelt thanks to the grace of God would be a robbery... So thanks to the holy mystery that some call Yahweh, Yeshua Moshiach, and Ruach HaKodesh.

The fight game and the friends you meet along the way.

I recently spent some time with my friend and former world kickboxing champion, Fabian Zuniga, when I went back home to SoCal on a business trip a couple of weeks ago. I gained so much valuable insight on the subject of Muay Thai fighting from my friend who I first met back in the mid 1990's. Much has changed in both our lives yet so much of the critical bits of our personalities remain quite in tact - always restless, always learning...

Fabian is a regular guy - who happens to possess 20 years of high-level muay thai experience. I don't know of many people personally that could even relate to committing to one art for 20 years and even less who wind up champion to boot. Fabian generously explained to me his Muay Thai game on this trip... Providing me insight into an art that I personally never strived to understand, but I always respected. I came up boxing and the first kicks I learned were from my older brothers who studied traditional Korean martial arts - I should mention this was going on in the 70's when martial arts had some sort of mythical superiority over the western combat sports like boxing and wrestling. I guess that's why I spent some of the 80's wearing a black gi and attending the Long Beach International Championships. In the 90s, I was first introduced to Muay Thai by JKD instructor, John Solin, at the IMB in Torrance. I barely skimmed the surface of the art, but it was cool to know that Fabian learned some good basics also from John Solin when he first started out training at the IMB at the age of 13.

I got to meet lots of southern California locals on my trip and the majority of the stories I heard seemed rather bleak about the present and the future potential of the region. Its not fair for me to generalize the fate of the world by a few isolated and unique life experiences, but most of the people I've recently met professionally and personally have been having a tough time.Then I see the happiness and peace from a guy like Fabian and it makes me realize that life is all about being yourself.

So when I went back to my hometown and realized problems persisted all around me, I did what was natural. I ate good food, hung out with good friends, I even went to my old church - twice... I was just being me. It feels good to be inspired by people and places. I could only imagine what goes on inside the mind of a world champion fighter, but I would hope there would be inner peace and joy through knowing that you found something that makes you grateful for living.

When I was much younger I had an old boxing coach tell me there are 3 traits that determine the value of a true champion...
         1) The people you fight to get to the title
         2) How long you hold the title
         3) What you do with your life after your fight career is over

    Fabian and his Kru Ruben Rowell Jr. of Extreme Power Gym in Oceanside, Ca.

When I look at the accomplishments of my friend Fabian Zuniga and hold them against the 3 criteria that determines the value of a true champion - I am proud to count Fabian as one of my oldest friends who continues to be as successful in life outside the ring as he was inside the ring. Its easy for me to say I learned more about Muay Thai from Fabian than anyone else in the world. Whats difficult for me to explain is that I learned about what it means to be a champion from Fabian as well...

Interesting Read

I wanted to re-post this article on here on my blog, but I'm late for a meeting at work.

Please click on the link and read the article. Its not that I agree or disagree with the article. I just enjoyed the topic and relate to the perspective.

Its funny (strange) how the 'don't-mess-with-me' hyper-masculine mma fan t-shirts have crossed over into Christian merchandise. I wonder if the guy that walks around wearing a shirt covered in skulls strung together with barbwire also walks around wearing a t-shirt of a buffed out Jesus telling me in no uncertain terms that I'm a pussy.

The discussions about masculinity and faith have been already written about thoughtfully. I just wanted to share an observation I've had over the years with churches and mma gyms.

I've been a Christian and a combat sports "gym rat" for going on 3 decades now and I hear unsettling discussions whenever I'm traveling inside both of those circles. I hear church leaders boast about a particular flagship ministry that's doing well for a target demographic. I also hear mma coaches citing their fighter's win records as proof of their gym's 'competitive advantage' over other gyms. Both circles compartmentalize their 'products' in order to 'sell' an idea to a potential customer that what they offer is in fact the best option to choose when compared to the 'other places' that offer exactly the same thing.

But why aren't the essential truths stressed more in both circles? Why do ministers and coaches alike resist to admit that other churches and gyms are as proficient if not better than their own with regard to certain aspects? Some churches have exceptionally talented people running youth ministries, but are lacking in adult ministries compared to other churches. As well in mma some gyms possess talented wrestling coaches, but lack an experienced person to teach the complexities of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Is it considered a heresy to go to different churches on different nights for different programs? In MMA circles, going to another gym outside of your own could get you banished from your gym.

Isn't it liberating to ponder the notion that the individual is the critical factor to finding value in both? Do I really need "pastor so & so" to preach to me in order to know God? Do I really have to have the big MMA promotion ex-champion teach me submissions? The answer to both is no. However, you got to learn from somewhere and someone with the right answers. But I question the authority of organizations and institutions that insist on marketing themselves as the best option for everyone. Blanket assertions suck.