Why Run Away Forrest Griffin?

Looking back at last week's UFC 101, lots of people wonder why Forrest Griffin ran out of the octagon after he got beat. I don't know, but I don't feel bad for him one bit.

If Forrest Griffin was capable enough to run out of the arena, he was physically capable enough to stand there long enough for the referee to hold up Anderson Silva's hand and to formally take his defeat...

To give honor to his opponent...

To give honor to the process...

...and if Forrest would have stayed in the octagon and took it like a warrior he would have preserved his own honor in this commonly selfless act of humility that all fighters have to undergo when facing a loss.

But he ran out of there, losing the chance to be honorable in defeat.

I am 40 years old and I've had the displeasure to have lost some big matches in my life the past few years. Both times, I stood up long enough to see my opponent's hand go up in victory. One of those times I did it in excruciating pain with a broken arm held up by my gi jacket fashioned as a sling. My arm wasn't broken by a submission... I broke it during a fall in the finals of a judo tournament with a guy 80 pounds heavier and over 15 years younger than me.

But I waited long enough to see my opponent get his hand raised in victory. Right after, I was helped into a small car and driven most expediently to the local hospital for a nice shot of morphene. Good Times! And I don't just mean the morphine!
I stood there and represented my family name honorably in defeat with a broken arm at 37 years old.

Look at B.J. Penn after his lost to GSP earlier this year. He didn't know what was going on nor does he remember where he was after the 2nd round, but he instinctively knew to stand up on his two feet, to stay in the octagon, and to have the process done to him - to let the ref hold his hand knowing that it wasn't going to be raised.

There is honor in defeat just as there is dishonor in victory. I tell you, I had so much more respect for BJ Penn in that act of honorable defeat than in all of his victory celebrations combined. Because I know how hard that is to do that first hand.

In my life, I've had the blessed opportunity to compete, judge, and referee in the sport of MMA and I only just turned 40. I count that a blessing, because I know how important all those roles are in ensuring that the sport improve and grow. I love the sport. But that honor in defeat has been around for centuries.

Like BJ Penn said in a pre-event special,
"They say a true measure of a man is when he is at his lowest... You've got to stand up."

Because Forrest ran out of the octagon before Anderson Silva's hand was raised, I must say I regret ever being a fan of Forrest Griffin. I certainly am not going to buy his book.

The Beauty of Facing Inner Truth... Even If Its Ugly.

I recently got back from visiting my hometown of Los Angeles, California. I haven't been there since December of 2007 when I had to bury one of my brothers.

My time there was truly blessed as this visit opened my mind and made me aware of particular facets of some personal prejudices I have ingrained in me.

One detail about my life thats come up recently is that I never really enjoyed the company of over 90% of the men I have met throughout my life. I never liked the lonely herd mentality that a lot of guys have - those who need a common identity in order to cover their insecurities. I never was one of those guys who needed to bond with other guys to feel like a man.

Its always the self-actualized men that I enjoyed being around. Men who TRULY didn't pace their life around the norm of living in a box of acceptable terms and attitudes - people not living to get a reaction off of others. Men who take care of themselves so they can take care of others they truly love.

I recently met a young man on a flight to Philadelphia. The guy's dad was a diplomat and his mother was a fashion model. He went to high school in Rome, dropped out of Harvard and is currently studying for his MBA at University of Pennsylvania majoring in Finance. Albeit, the man comes from money and priviledge, but he didn't act like it.

He is living an interesting life... He just got back from Mexico where he recently acquired a Mezcal farm. He has it setup to where a good share of the profits go to funding local schools. 10 years ago, I would have had the same striking and engaging conversation with the same guy. However, I would've counted him as an exception as most of my friends were fighters growing up.

Now that MMA is so popular, I have had recent experiences working out and meeting people entering into the fight game who have no clue what it means to deal with humility and humiliation. In my opinion, how can anyone call themselves tough when they never busted through the other side of adversity in life?

I used to feel a common bond and respect with people who went toe-to-toe with me. I still respect people I have fought, but lately its like I can care less if people fight now or not. Recent experiences have me re-thinking my prejudices...

Its easy to go in a ring or cage to fight when you have no experience accomplishing anything meaningful or beneficial in life. What's so hard about laying everything on the line when you are a living loser? I mean, what have you got to lose when you have nothing to show for anyway?

And I now have the displeasure of meeting fat dudes who are self-proclaimed experts at jiu-jitsu and MMA. How can someone be so delusional as to think they are living a healthy lifestyle when they are so obese? How can anyone know about leverage when they are carrying around the weight of two or three people? I don't think Carlos and Helio Gracie envisioned that all they were trying to promote would be expounded upon by full grown babies.

And don't get me started on most fight fans... "The biggest idiots on the planet."
How can a fan of the sport say that a fighter's Jiu-Jitsu is good or bad when they never rolled a day in their life?

Also, when guys talk to me nowadays they mostly express dissatisfaction with their life because:
- they are doing work they feel is inferior to their abilities
- they have relationships with women who they think don't appreciate or respect them
- they feel like they aren't respected enough in all their social circles

Full grown babies. Many men I meet seem to think that the key to the fountain of youth is to have an adolescent attitude. Now I don't think that I have matured or grown much wiser since my teenage days, but I have changed a little bit.

I now try to live to serve those I care about. I take care of myself so I can take care of them. I like the company of men who understand that particular philosophy in life.

So if you are a man and see me on the street - just wave and I will wave back. If we are closer, I may say something pleasant to you and give a seemingly sincere query about your life.

But be warned...
If you are not family or a professional colleague I truly respect...
If you're not someone I've rolled with or spilled blood with...
If you're not someone I have some spiritual connection with...

I most probably hate you for wasting my time.

I know my attitude sucks to many. But for right now its beautiful to me, because its a truth that allows me to be myself without any reservations or apologies. I can live in my own skin knowing that I surround myself with men I enjoy and respect.

I feel reassured knowing that I have excluded my contact with the type of men that, as Forrest Griffin would say, are big hairy vaginas.